


Oh Petey

by TetrodotoxinB



Series: MCU Kink Bingo 2017 [13]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Bingo square: breathplay, Canon-Typical Violence, Deadpool getting off to being choked, In a fight, M/M, Peter is an adult
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-08 04:49:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12857091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TetrodotoxinB/pseuds/TetrodotoxinB
Summary: Deadpool likes Spider-man's fighting style just a little too much.





	Oh Petey

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SoftObsidian74](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoftObsidian74/gifts).



> Beta'd by the delightful [farkenshnoffingottom](http://archiveofourown.org/users/farkenshnoffingottom/pseuds/farkenshnoffingottom).

“Get back over here, you jumpy little fucker!”

Spider-man leapt across the alley onto the other wall and peered down at Wade. It was safe enough. Wade had already spent all his ammo on the assholes that Peter had shown up to take care of, so he took a minute to think. 

“I mean, I know I look damn good in this suit, but the staring is getting creepy, Petey,” Wade shouted from the ground. 

“Deadpool, I’ve got to take you in. The Avengers would like a word,” Peter shouted down.

Wade lowered his katanas. “Aw, baby really. ‘Deadpool?’ We’re not even on a first name basis?”

Peter glared down and the eye slits of the suit narrowed accordingly. “We’re not friends, Deadpool.”

“Ugh, fine,” Wade sighed. “Well, if that’s how you want it.”

Wade tossed both katanas at Peter. It was a stupid move in all honesty. Peter simply webbed them to the other wall and looked back down. 

“Oh come on!” Deadpool shouted. “Those were expensive. This isn’t even a fun fight!”

Peter watched Deadpool sulk for a moment before webbing him to the ground and climbing down. 

“That was easier than I expected,” Peter observed.

“‘That was easier than I expected,’” mocked Deadpool in a high pitched voice, reminiscent of a high school girl. “Ah, I’m just kidding.”

Deadpool ripped the web off of himself with no effort and jumped to his feet. “Now this is a fun fight. Here we are. You and me, on the ground together like friends. Maybe we can hug it out afterwards?”

Peter jumped to the side and shot more web around Wade, wrapping his legs tightly together. In another second, Peter would have had his arms too, but Deadpool lunged through the air and tackled Peter. 

It was an awkward fight — Peter could straddle Wade, but Wade couldn’t do the same. They grappled for a few moments, but ultimately Peter ended up behind Wade — Deadpool, he had to stop calling him Wade — trying to choke him out with a length of web. 

“Choke me harder, baby,” Wade — dammit Deadpool — moaned. 

Peter’s eyes went wide. What the fuck was Deadpool playing at? Whatever the hell it was, he was apparently only getting started. 

“Oh, baby, you don’t know what you’re doing to me!” Wade moaned again. 

He stopped grasping at the web around his neck and began to rub his crotch through his pants, thrusting in time with his moans. 

“Petey, is that a chimichanga in your pocket or are you just glad to see me,” he asked.

Peter choked inside his suit and stared, wide-eyed at the back of Deadpool’s head. Fuck, this strange ass fight had to end immediately. He pulled the web as tight as it would go and arched his back to pull the web as taut as he could.

“Oh, god. I’m close please don’t stop. Pete! _Petey!_ ” 

That was enough of that, Peter decided. He let off, webbed Wade’s hands tightly behind him so that he couldn’t get any leverage to tear free, and skittered up the nearest wall. 

“Guys, I’ve got Deadpool tied up at these coordinates. I’m sending them to you now,” Peter said into his comms. “I’m gonna need help with him. He’s acting really… weird.” 

Wade laughed and wriggled uselessly in his bonds. “Is this actually gonna make it into the movie? I thought Sony made everyone sign a contract about Spidey-boy not being gay. I mean, this doesn’t make you gay, but it was a very gay experience. God, the reviewers are going to love this.”

Peter furrowed his brows and tried to figure out what in the hell Wade was talking about. 

“Hey, Petey?” Deadpool asked, seemingly sane again.

“Yeah?” Peter asked cautiously.

“Mind coming down here to finish me off while we wait. I was close before, shouldn’t take long,” Wade said.

“Hey, Karen?” Peter asked.

“Yes, Peter?”

“Can you mute anything he says until the others get here?”

“I’ve taken care of it,” she replied.

Peter sighed and thanked her. He could see Deadpool’s lips moving, no doubt spewing more innuendo-laced nonsense. God, this job was getting weirder every day.


End file.
